While driving with David

Me : "So one of my friends has a birthday on the 13th, right? And I saw this at the beginning of the month. So when her birthday came along on the 11th, I sent her an email to say "happy birthday". A little later that day I noticed that her birthday wasn't on the day's calendar. So I checked again and had to send an email saying "Actually, I meant to send that on the 13th, but 11 and 13 are both prime numbers next to 12, so obviously you can see how I made the mistake.""
David : "Nice cover. That sounds like something I would say on the spot."
Me : "No, I'm serious, that was really why."
David : "Whut."
Me : "I don't consciously memorize things ambiguously, like "it's an odd number less than 20!" but if they share the right attributes my brain doesn't throw up any red flags. 13 is a prime number next to 12. I didn't memorize it like that, but when the 11th hit I just knew for a fact that it was her birthday. And it wasn't."

While having lunch with Mom, Dad, and Stephan

Mom : "Sometimes I'll be fixing lunch and he'll come in and say "What are you fixing?", and then he'll say "I don't want that," and he'll just make his own lunch. Or I'll tell him that I'm going to fix lunch, and he'll ask what I'm fixing, and I'll say "Well I thought I would fix da da da da," and he'll say he doesn't want it and "I'll fix my own food.""
Stephan : "Dad, it sounds like we need to find you the perfect condiment that you can put on anything so you'll eat it. Like ketchup."
Me : "Or graciousness."
Dad : "Does that come in pill form?"
Stephan and me in unison: " It's a suppository."
Me : "It's a tough pill to swallow."