Kurt McKee

lessons learned in production

Articles tagged with quote

Turnabout | 11 November 2013

While eating dinner with one of my brothers.

Me : "I love you, Stephan."
Stephan : "Thanks, Kurt."
Me : "Really appreciate spending time with you, and especially when you sometimes aren't talking."
Stephan : "Wha..."
Me : "See what I did there? That's called a 'neg'."
Stephan : "Wow, you know that's really clever, Kyle …

A learning experience | 13 January 2013

While at a birthday party for a lesbian friend of mine, I was the only straight guest at the party.

Birthday girl : "We're all doing jello shots!"
Me : "I've never done jello shots."
Birthday girl : "Well you can't use your finger! You have to use your tongue to get all …

Why. Why would he ruin the joke like that. | 4 May 2012

While an observer was being shown around at work:

Pete : "And this is Kurt. He'll be building and configuring the servers for that system over there."
Me : "Actually, David's going to be right next to me, helping me the whole way. I've told him to mimic my movements, so if …

Turning a phrase | 1 May 2012

While discussing my brother's typical weekend:

Frederick : "I think they're planning on pushing it back to 5:00pm."
Me : "You mean, 'push it up to 5:00pm'?"
Frederick : "I've never been clear on 'pushing it back' versus 'pushing it forward'. Just like how people say 'turn up the air conditioning' …

You know what they say about assumptions | 7 April 2012

I walked into the cafeteria at work and, as I passed one of the cafeteria ladies, I pouted and rubbed my tummy.

Me : "¡Tengo hambre, Angie!"
Angie : "Ha ha, you're just like my kids! But wait, why do you think I understand Spanish? Because of the color of my skin …

Business as usual | 16 January 2012

I read this morning that the internet censorship bill, SOPA, was killed by Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA), but there are other similar bills that still need to be killed. The discussion on Slashdot cracked me up, though.

Spritzer (950539) : I for one have been in contact with my Rep. and …

They turk ur jurbs! | 17 December 2011

While at work, we were discussing where a co-worker could get a good coat. Someone mentioned Old Navy:

Wayne : I don't like Old Navy.
Joe : We should boycott Old Navy!
Me : Yeah, they didn't just outsource the acting for their commercials, they gave the jobs to mannequins!

He's right you know | 19 June 2011

While Stephan was home

Stephan : "Your internet sucks."
Me : "My internet is fine. My computer's ten years old."
Stephan : "You know the bike out in my car? It's also ten years old."
Me : "Yeah, except that the roads you ride on don't have increasing kinetic friction coefficients."
Stephan : "Have you …

One possibility | 13 June 2011

While at a party

Steph : "Did you hear that Glenn Beck is leaving Fox News?"
Me : "Why is he leaving? Creative differences?"

It's the truth | 24 March 2011

While driving with David

Me : "So one of my friends has a birthday on the 13th, right? And I saw this at the beginning of the month. So when her birthday came along on the 11th, I sent her an email to say "happy birthday". A little later that day …

Difficult to say it right the first time | 23 June 2010

While at Chipotle with Eric, who was wearing a bright red shirt with a giant bat emblazoned across the front:

Jesse the cashier : "I'll give you your meal for free if you give me your shirt."
Eric : "But...I'm kind of using it right now."
Jesse : "I know, it's just …

After further consideration... | 6 May 2010

In the past week or two I've been having trouble interpreting things correctly the first time. I have three examples of the problem (and these are, verbatim, what I thought or said):

Billboard for FAA Credit Union : "We're made of 40,000 people just like you."
Me : Wait, I'm not …

A compelling metaphor | 7 January 2010

Watonga Cowboy Church

While driving to a client

Me : You've got the "Church of Jesus Christ, Scientist", and the "Church of Jesus Christ, Cowboy". They don't differ significantly in theology, they just emphasize different aspects of the Godhood.
Him : Right, and this one emphasizes the Jesus Christ that wrangles steer.
Me : And the …

Coincidentally | 21 December 2009

While out shopping five days before Christmas; the cashier had just called for the next customer in line.

Her : Did you cut ahead of that guy?
Me : No, he was on his cell phone waiting for his wife and gestured to go ahead.
Her : Okay. I guess I won't crucify …

A real product endorsement | 5 December 2009

While waiting on printer drivers to install:

Me: "Do you use teeth whiteners?"
Her: "No. I just use a pre-brushing rinse."
Me: "A what?"
Her: "It's made by Listerine. It's not Listerine, though. That's bad for you. It dries out your gums."
Me: "Well you could always pop in a …

The standard unit | 14 November 2009

While talking with a doctor at one of the sites I work at, she told this story:

"During my residency, a prescription pad was stolen from the office. A few days later I got a call from a pharmacist. "Now, I know you didn't write this prescription, but I just …

A simple metric | 9 November 2009

If the name of the food product takes up less space on the packaging than the list of things that it doesn't have in it, I don't want it.

A life achievement | 18 August 2009

One of my friends came to help me unload when I arrived home, and he showed up while I was having difficulty backing the car and the trailer onto the driveway.

David : "Wow, you're doing a great job with that. Just to let you know, I've driven with one of …

Homemade french vanilla coffee creamer | 22 March 2009

Although I made coffee for both of us for lunch, Andrea almost didn't drink hers, instead offering it to me.

Me : "No thanks. I only like french vanilla creamer. You only added milk, so in order to produce french vanilla I would have to add vanilla while yelling " Je ne …

On CPU specialization | 18 March 2009

While explaining why computer processors have differences (specifically, why the Playstation 3 might be harder to develop for than the XBox 360 or the Wii), I touched on the idea of specialization and optimization.

Processors can be optimized for specific tasks, or they can be generic. The processor in your …

Writing and 'rithmetic | 14 October 2008

Helping Stephan with a pre-calculus problem
Me : "Okay, now multiply that entire polynomial out somewhere else on the page. What are you doing on the right side of the page there. Give yourself room. We write left-to-right, not right-to-righter."

People say crazy things | 8 July 2008

I interact with all sorts of people on a daily basis. Many of them say foolish and surprising things.

The racist mother
A woman came in with her mother, and they began looking at doll house products.

Mother : Do you have any regular dolls?
Me : I'm sorry?
Mother : Well I …

Going for broke | 18 May 2008

Yesterday, while at Sheil, Tim called out" Kurt!" and flashed some kind of hand gesture at me.

Tim : "There, see? I just put a curse on you."
Me : "Oh, hexes are the worst. Can you...is that something I can just wash out?"
Tim : "No, you're stuck with it."
Me …

Theftable | 23 April 2008

Discussing with Allan the possibility of him bringing his small desktop computer.

Allan : "I don't know if I should bring it...it's kind of..."
Me : "Theftable?"
Allan : ""THEFTABLE". Good use of bad English."

Acceptable attire | 5 April 2007

Yes, birthday suits are allowed. No, "birthday suits wink wink nudge nudge" are not allowed.

7 Harry Potters = 666 | 3 April 2007

Discussing double standards for The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter with K. Dubs:

K. Dubs : "Probably if you went through each of the seven Harry Potter books and assigned each character a numerical value, then ran the whole thing through a ridiculous, over-complicated, likely-contrived Da Vinci Code-esque algorithm …

Southpark logic | 23 February 2007

I was talking with K. Dubs about a blogger on YouTube who posted many videos arguing against Christianity. He had a number of subscribers to his videos, and was a prominent atheist on YouTube. However, when he turned his attention to argue against Islam, YouTube immediately and permanently deleted his …

Oddities abound | 20 February 2007
  • There are signs around campus that merely say "UNITY - 3 days". If that doesn't sound like an ad for a suicide cult, I don't know what does.

  • I figure that there's a fortune to be made in a relatively untapped market: baby strollers with ashtrays. All I need is some …

Even when complaining | 4 February 2007

Ah. Well that works out great, then.

Me : call me
Me : i need to rant rant rant
Me : i'm getting angry
Me : with no end in sight
Andy : dude!
Andy : for some reason your complaints triggered some neurons in my mind and I came to a realization on how to …

Riffing on a Big O scene | 11 January 2007

Background: I've been watching an anime series called "The Big O", which is a fairly dark show about a top negotiator in a city whose inhabitants lost all of their memories 40 years ago. Doesn't sound much like a Japanese theme does it? That's because I haven't mentioned the 15-story …

Erica's 21st birthday | 7 January 2007

Erica, Aaron's girlfriend, turned 21 this past week, so she threw a party at her place, and then paid a pretty penny for the group to go to a place called the Funky Buddha. I think the Funky Buddha qualifies as a club, because it had a separate area set …

Rational selection | 2 November 2006

Someone I know has a quick and easy way to find acceptable dates.

The Smart Museum | 29 October 2006

Vanessa and I had an adventure in Chicago and Chinatown.

A funny theft story | 10 October 2006

Beth related a funny story about her house getting broken into.

Hey, Grey Poupon! | 26 September 2006

How terribly awkward! Just take one of the other chairs, guy!

Of boy bands and funerals | 2 September 2006

I accompanied on piano at a funeral, acted as pallbearer, and bought some boy band albums.

Decking cards | 26 August 2006

These boxes are tiny and difficult!

Oh What a Night! | 5 August 2006

At long last, I have the song I've searched for for 5 years!