Kurt McKee

lessons learned in production


Hey there! This article was written in 2004.

It might not have aged well for any number of reasons, so keep that in mind when reading (or clicking outgoing links!).

Best. Conversation. EVER.

Posted 3 July 2004

I had the most awesomest conversation at dinner this evening. I was sitting with Andy Collins, Bill Staehle, and Justin Pawela. The conversation pretty much ran the entire duration of dinner. Here's some of the highlights. And by "highlights" I mean "stuff I remember".

Me : So Bill, did you ever find out how many mosquitoes it would take to kill a cow?
Bill : Oh! I forgot to check that!
Andy : Wait, what?
Bill : Mosquitoes inject anticoagulant into their victims. You would eventually die from it.
Me : That'd be mean, to take a jar filled with mosquitoes, and tape it to a cow.
Andy : And then what?
Me : And then walk away.
Andy : Or you could do line art.
Justin : I wish I hadn't come back to the table.

Bill : I'm a little allergic to mosquito bites. One time I had a bunch on my ear. I lost the rim of my ear because it swelled up so much.

Bill : One time I had 80 mosquito bites on my back!
Me : Who was counting?
Bill : My mother.
Justin : Dedicated mother. What were you doing? Trekking through the rainforest?
Bill : I was playing baseball.
Justin : Baseball my ass. You were in the rainforest.

Justin : You know they put these holes in the sides of cows.
Andy : You're kidding me.
Me : That's ridiculous!
Bill : Yeah! And you can put your arm in them!
Andy : Why would anyone do that?!
Bill : Beats me.
Justin : They just cut a hole there, and attach a cylinder to keep it open, and you can reach down into the cow's stomach. It was at this veterinarian's convention. I got to put my hand into the cow's stomach.
Me : You could totally redirect everything out of the cow.
Andy : What, you mean like cow modding? That'd be awesome! Like an exhaust pipe or something.
Bill : "I'm kinda hungry, but I've been eating for days!"
Me : Then you could hollow out the cow, since it's obviously not going to be needing any of its 4 stomachs!
Andy : "Don't need this anymore!"