While at a birthday party for a lesbian friend of mine, I was the only straight guest at the party.
Birthday girl : "We're all doing jello shots!"
Me : "I've never done jello shots."
Birthday girl : "Well you can't use your finger! You have to use your tongue to get all the jello out. It's a competition, so try to keep up."
Everyone does the jello shots
Me : "How's this?"
Unknown girl : "Holy shit, he's like a washing machine!"
Birthday girl : "Seriously?! You beat out all of the lesbians?!"
Me : "Well sure. I just traced the letters of the alphabet."
While relating the story to another friend of mine.
Me : "I felt really proud about that, like I'd achieved something."
Him : "Yes, you're the King of Lesbians."