While Stephan was home
Stephan : "Your internet sucks."
Me : "My internet is fine. My computer's ten years old."
Stephan : "You know the bike out in my car? It's also ten years old."
Me : "Yeah, except that the roads you ride on don't have increasing kinetic friction coefficients."
Stephan : "Have you even seen Oklahoma roads?"
Me : "Okay, I have to shake your hand. That was a good comeback."