Last night my mom fell in the icy darkness outside of our house and injured her wrist. To schedule an X-ray this morning she called Physicians and Surgeons, located at 900 Porter Avenue here in Norman, OK. She is currently uninsured.
When she called, she was told that they didn't know how much an X-ray would cost; the only person in the office who decides how much an X-ray costs an uninsured patient wasn't in, and wouldn't be back until the 17th. She then offered to pay the same cost as an insured patient and cover the difference when it was determined, but was told they didn't know how much an X-ray would cost for an insured patient, either: that same person determines that was well. In the end she was told to call back in a week when their person was back in-office and could determine how much an X-ray would cost.
Let me repeat that: Physicians and Surgeons employs a Goddamn oracle to confer directly with Heaven, apparently through a complicated but surely systematic reading of conch shell ridges and oak wood rings that would drive mere mortals instantaneously to hysterics. I assume my mom called just after the last uninsured person asked for an X-ray of their wrist, the result of the reading having overcome their oracle and driven her to self-immolation.
Clearly they expect a full recovery by the 17th.