I finally figured out what the proper settings are for my audio card, so Audacity is now able to record the audio coming from my cell phone, which means that you all need to start calling me and leaving hilarious messages for me to record and store away for the cold nights. Tell me a joke. Drunk dial me. Forget who you're talking to and end the message with "Love you!" and then burst out in embarrassed giggling and hang up.
That, or do something that I haven't heard before.