You're like a mammoth tank -- big, dumb, and slow, but heavily armored so it takes a lot to take you down.
-- Redshield, circa 2000
Well, he's absolutely right. I haven't been sick for four years, but this week I've been sick for four days straight. I've experienced dizziness, sharp pains in the back of my head, stiffness and pain in my neck and along my spine, some joint pain, dehydration, fever...
-- Amanda, circa now
Poor Kurt indeed! My day just kept getting worse and worse from the moment I got to my appointment at the Health Service.
First of all, I was diagnosed with mono. Don't ask me where I got it from, though, because I haven't heard of anyone I know having mono since high school. I was told not to do anything that could result in my spleen rupturing, so I guess I'll have to quit utilizing my exquisite physique for football in favor of that most noble of gentleman's games, bowling.
I left the Health Service and trekked up to have the key to my room fixed, which had been flaky about unlocking the door. Anita, the lady who deals with those sorts of things, informed me that I had the wrong key anyway, and she replaced it with a different key. The new key, I discovered back at Kemper, did not work at all, so I started walking back down to see Anita.
About a minute after leaving Kemper, I got stung in the eye twice by a wasp, a sting just above and below both eyelids. So I walked the awful distance to the Health Service again, instead of the key office (I surely scared everyone I passed, with my haggard breathing, hunched posture, staggering gait, and covered eye). I ended up going to the local emergency room, just in case there might be swelling that could damage my vision. Meanwhile, the key office closed.
To end the story, after getting back to my dorm someone finally figured out where the master key was, so I'm back in my room, and I've just polished off a healthy dose of pizza and coke.
I need some serious sleep.