My name is Ash, and I'm a slave.
Thus begins the fantastic romp called Army of Darkness, starring Bruce Campbell. Bill Staehle and I both purchased a copy today, although I have to say that my copy ("Bruce Campbell vs. Army Of Darkness - The Director' Cut - Official Bootleg Edition"...and yes, "Director'" is missing an 's') is less than spectacular. After watching it, I have to say that the DVD compression used lost the crispness that I demand from DVDs. Plus, they replaced one of the best lines from the movie.
Ash is fighting his evil twin, and the evil Ash is taunting him, dancing around and punching him, saying "Goodie little two-shoes! Goodie little two- shoes!" Then suddenly he takes a shotgun blast to the face and does a 20-foot flying backflip. The camera pans back to Good Ash, who states "Good. Bad. I'm the one with the gun." [soundclip] This was replaced with "I ain't so good." Weak line, that.
And they forced the original ending on me. Ugh. The original ending has him trying to get back to his time by drinking six drops of an elixir, one drop for each century he's to sleep. He screws up, drinks too many drops, and wakes up in a post-apocalyptic world. Ash screams "No! No! I slept too long!" and then the credits roll. You feel horrible. And I mean horrible in the same way I felt when a guy on the street yesterday accosted me and said "Do you have a minute for the environment?" and I replied "No" and kept walking.
All that to say, I'm going to return the movie to Blockbuster and swap it out for the same version Bill has. Crisp picture, cheesy dialogue, and cool ending, here I come!
Hail to the king, baby.